Just a wind up

Funny couple of days took Tag and Sall on the park Thursday night as Dean our son had walked Tilly and Nell for me he should of walked Sall and Tag as the other two had already been out twice so when I got back from work and realised I took them out straight away, so we are doing the park which is quite well lit and could hear the local teenagers in the sheltered benching who happen to know our dog's through our son and I often hear them say "It's Dean's Mum"and we going around the edge and there is some areas with a fair bit of over growth so Tag disappears and I can hear him rummaging about but no alarm bells but after a few minutes I started to call him and thought he is stuck in there so carry on shouting him as think well if he can hear me he will try to get out, finally out he comes and I could see he had something and I thought he's found another football and then I see he has it by the back leg its a bloody massive Hedgehog so I shout "Leave it " and bless him straight away he drops it and I see it roll into a ball he pokes it a bit and then he came to me so I am flicking at his head like mad as I know they are covered in fleas but luckily I only did them with the front line the other day I had to buy 6 from the chemist which was near as damn it £27.00 and then the wormers another £12.00 on top but 4 dogs aren't cheap to run, anyways it was a bit difficult to check if the creature was ok so I rode through the next morning just to have a quick look and couldn't see it so I will assume it was ok
Friday morning and I am doing my normal after Simon has left for work turn the PC on and open the French window curtains which are on a pole and saw this movement up at the top OMG how big was this spider and no good for your heart in the morning so I take a step back and think what the hell am I going to do, no way am I sharing my sitting room with that big monster I thought well I could go and get Dean up and then I thought I know I will hoover the Bugger up....I have a new Dyson light weight and I honestly love my hoover as it's brill I bring it in and detach the pipe and and just check it has plenty of suck as I will be pointing it up at the bloody thing and don't want it dropping on the floor and for the 1st time ever the pipe has detached at the bottom well I'm breaking into a sweat now and I'm bending down and then I think hang on a frigging moment if the big Lodger moves I cant see him so I have the hoover on the sofa now and I'm saying " you bloody stay there "to the spider and sheer madness is taking over and I'm saying "why wont you go in" to the pipe"well finally I manage it and switch it back on and position myself in attack mode and I am saying without a word of a lie the bloody thing was that big it made a big thud as it entered the pipe I then had to sit down and sat there for ten minutes or more watching to see if I could see any movement in my hoover I figured I wont empty it today and put it away but later as it lives in the pantry next to the dog food I got all paranoid again and was gazing into the dog food before scooping out my big jug of nuts for the dogs...So from that you will gather I don't like spiders at all and if our old Nell had been around and it had fell on the floor she would of killed it as she was a brilliant spider killer for me bless her...